amalthia: (Default)
Has anyone on my flist bought a scuba mask recently that required prescription lens? If so any advice? Has anyone had experience with the pre-made lenses that they insert into the frame? 10 years ago they were gluing the lens on the inside of the mask and I don't remember having any troubles seeing out of the mask.

I can't seem to find any good reviews on the pros and cons of either method. The scuba diving shop also said they can't correct for astigmatism.

Every year I'm tempted to get the lasik surgery. It would save time and money in the long run.
amalthia: (Angel)
I'm trying to find a zombie/end of the world Supernatural fic that is Gen, Sam and Dean both die at the end (not turned into zombies) and it takes place on a farm.

My recs:spn tag will only go back 110 entries and I think this story came out a year ago and it's just killing me that I can't remember the author or the title but it's one of those stories I never quite forgot.

weird dream

Jul. 8th, 2005 11:28 pm
amalthia: (Default)
I meant to write about my dream last night when I woke up this morning but the dogs distracted me.

I was in this town and when I woke up everyone was dead including myself and but we could walk around and talk and if you still had limbs you had to protect yourself from the other dead people who wanted your body parts. it was really disturbing on many many levels. I mostly remember that I was a guy, and that no matter what I did during the night, when day came i'd fall asleep and wake up not knowing how I died or what had happened until the other dead people filled me in. The dream doesn't make much sense writing about it, but when I was sleeping it did.

I also had a girlfriend who was in relatively good condition for a dead person and I felt this need to protect her from the other dead people.
amalthia: (Default)
it's been a few days since I've posted in my livejournal. not a whole lot has happened, but I'm now in back in Belton, babysitting my mom's pet dogs and two rats. Houston I hear has a lot of pollution so I haven't had many allergy problems since I've moved there.

Right now I'm not sure if I'm allergic to the black furball or all the trees that grow or bloom in summertime. All I can say is thank god for allergy medicine. My nose is raw, I could barely type without having to grab a tissue every two seconds, and just breathing normally is suddenly a wonderful experience that I take for granted way too often.

I already miss my home, it doesn't smell like dogs, and I miss my desktop computer (I only brought my laptop with me) I can't vid without my desktop. :( I also really miss my daily routine and spending time with Tom in the evenings watching Angel episodes and talking. Or not talking. There are nights were we both get distracted on our computers. Anyway I'm only here for 15 days I think I'll survive.

this experience is great, I now know I never ever want an indoor dog. They wake up super early whinning, and you cna't just sleep through it because in the back of your mind you can't stop thinking "if I don't take Pepper outside he'll pee on the wooden floors and I'll have to clean it up" great way to wake up in the morning.

And then once you take the dog outside and he does his business, he'll still whine which leaves me kind of feeling clueless wondering what's wrong with him now? Pepper is still a baby dog 6 months old, and he's not nearly as well behaved as our other dog Padin. Padin, I don't worry about, she's really old and sleeps all day and night.

Anyway, deprived of my desktop computer and armed with a ton of allergy medicine. I just might finish one of the four stories I'm working on. :)
amalthia: (Default)
I got a call from the police department, I'm really nervous about the interview tomorrow. I'll probably spend an hour looking for something to wear that looks professional. I only have one real interview outfit and it needs dry cleaning. :(
amalthia: (Default)
to Dark Goddess, I love talking with you online, there is no one else I can talk about such a wide variety of subjects, manga! You introduced me to online mangas. :) Of course, you are probably right that we always have a lot to say because we don't often get the chance to talk. Reading your livejournal makes me wish I lived in New York, I think I'd have a lot of fun hanging out with you, looking for anime posters and watching anime together (as long as Fruit Baskets is subtitled in English not dubbed)

I'm amazed at your patience, I know from talking with you and reading your livejournal, that things aren't always easy for you either, but somehow you manage to get by, do your school work, handle the stress at home, and then have time to devot to your online and real life, friends. I always admire that.

I love that you can make me laugh about situations that initially have me so frustrated I want to rip out my hair. (I'd never pound my keyboard, they cost too much to replace.) ^_^

You have a great sense of humor, are open-minded, and you listen. I think that's why so many people like you, including myself. :)

I'm also happy to have you as my friend,
and I hope someday you are able to visit me in Texas. :)

Dreams

Dec. 20th, 2004 07:08 pm
amalthia: (Default)
i had the mother of all nightmares sleeping today/tonight?? It's still fresh in my head since I woke up not one hour ago. but man, when I woke up and the room was completely dark I was sort of freaked out. One thing that bugs me about working at night is that when I sleep during the day it seems like I need 2 more hours of sleep to feel rested instead of 8 hours. Though actually I always probably needed at least 9 hours of sleep to feel rested. grrrr

the other tough part is I still need to stop by the bank to desposit my checks from working and do some X-Mas shopping....but living 45 minutes away from the nearest bank makes that a bit more challenging. What I'd like to know is why aren't banks open at 7am??? I mean at least by the time I get off work I could stop by the bank on the way home??? instead to go to the bank I have to drive to San Antonio adn then drive back home to get changed for work, because hanging out in San Antonio for 6 hours waiting for 11pm to arrive kind of blows.

sigh, I think I'll be relieved when I go back to the other schedule. The only good news is that most stores stay open until 9 or 10 pm so I can still get some X-Mas shopping in before I go to work.
amalthia: (Default)
Well his real name isn't Dago, but for this purpose he knows I'm talking about him. :)

He's one of the best friends I've ever had, when I needed help or support he was there to listen and almost always had good advice. I always knew I could count on him, and in this world that means a lot. He's one of the smartest guys I know, has a good sense of humor, and is an excellent Magic card player. He's also one of the most giving people, I'm still astonished by his generosity of spirit and with gifts. But he also is strong willed and has opinions, which is great. :)

I enjoyed hanging out with him all the times I got to see him, and I miss that I hardly ever see him online anymore.

I know my life would have been worse never having met Dago and having his friendship. I'm not great at expressing all that he meant and still means to me. but I hope what I wrote is enough.
amalthia: (Default)
Today I think I really hurt a friend's feelings by telling them something over the phone rather than in person. My mom says I used a cheap method of letting my friend know something rather than telling this person what I needed to say in person. :(

However, at the time I didn't know when I'd next get to see my friend and i'd already waited about three weeks to let this person know the information and I guess I got impatient to let the person know and I probably screwed everything up with a phonecall instead. grrr Why am I so clueless sometimes? This is a reason why I hate myself sometimes. I never pick the right choice when it comes to what is the best way to do something. My mom may be right, I just picked the easiest choice for me and in the process probably ruined a five year friendship.

I hate feeling like a low-life bottom feeding sucker fish. :(
amalthia: (Default)
Okay I finally saw the new trailor for the POA and I'm completely obsessed with the new movie. I can't wait until June 4th, though I don't think I"ll be standing in line the night before just to make sure I get tickets.

Part of me is worried that this new movie will suck...however I worry all the time anyway...

Here is the link where I found the previews. http://www.hpana.com/news.17898.html

So far I get the feeling that Hermione is going to be my favorite character in the movie universe. I don't think the guy who plays Ron can act very well. He always has this look of exaggerated horror on his face. And it's silly.

I had a dream last night and I must be thinking too much about Harry Potter because in the dream I was Harry Potter and and had sex with Professor Snape...Weird but interesting. Potter and Snape stories may be fun to read but I'd never considered writing this pairing at all. But after this dream I'm thinking it may have some potential.
amalthia: (Default)
Okay well as the subject says I'm still sick and since I'm still a subsitute and living at home with my parents again, I decided there is no pressing reason for me to torture myself for a few extra dollars.

However, last night my mom said something that bothered me a lot and made me question myself as a person and it's part of the reason I feel like a big loser.

She said, I should have still gone to work all last week even though I was coughing my lungs and and couldn't even really speak because 1. I'd start coughing and 2. my throat hurt like hell from all the coughing. Now I thought originally that it would be prudent to stay home and rest and get well as fast as possible so when I did go back to work I would be more alert and able to talk, which is actually very important if you are subbing. How else are you going to tell the students what tasks the teacher left for them. And in Elementry school you really have to be able to talk. Because the kids honestly need more help and they have lines for everything.

So keeping all this in mind I stayed home thinking I made the right decision.

Then my mom comes along and shakes my reasoning. Is it true that in the "real" world if you are sick and stay home a day or two you'd get fired??? It seems stupid to let sick people go to work and infect everyone else. I mean I know there is a difference between allergies and being sick sick.

I don't know maybe I'm still living in a fantasy world, where sick people are allowed to stay home and recover.

So now I sort of feel like a bum. I always thought I had a good work ethic and now I'm doubting myself.

Then to top it all off (because I like to complain) ^_^ I finally had a chance to look at other people's live journals and realized their's are more fun to read than mine.

Like Juxian Tang has stories posted, cool links, recommendations to stories and lots of other nifty stuff that makes visiting her journal a lot of fun. and she's not the only one out there with an interesting journal. Rhysenn has a neat journal, I really like Rushlight's as well, and Dark Godess a friend of mine. She has nifty quizes on hers.

And then to make me even more jealous some of the women out there really know how to decorate their journals too!!!

So basically I need to figure out if I want to keep writing in this journal like I would write in a regular journal or try to get more involved with the Live journal community or maybe actually start trying to write a bit. (horrible case of writers block since I moved back home)

Or maybe I should just be myself and not force anything. Do I really have time to become involved in an online community?? Probably not, but i'd really like to be. I missed out on a chance to go to Escapade this year and I would have loved to go just to meet fellow slashers and talk about slash with people in real life. Or share my love of RoTK with people who won't think i'm crazy.

My mom said something else that deeply disturbed me. I'm planning on going to law school and I've hoped that someday I'll be a good enough lawyer to work for the ACLU and work towards making the United States less of a discriminating place to live. Whether I'm helpign with Gay Rights or Women's Rights, or Environmental Laws. I just know if I went through the effort to become a lawyer someday I'd want to do some good with the degree.

Last night while we were eating somehow our conversation moved to the Mass. SC decision about gay marriage. I expressed how glad I was they said the state cannot deny same-sex couples the right to marry. And my mom pretty much said I need to learn to keep my opinions to myself if I ever want to work in America and make money. Because my opinion that gay people should have the right to marry could get me fired. And if as a lawyer I decided to represent a gay client then no law firm would want to hire me for siding with a client who is homosexual. My mom and brother both said the only time I should start working towards helping minorities was after I finished my career and already retired. And that by supporting unpopular opinions my sister and brother's future careers can be damaged too!

I was quite shocked at this belief and it made me wonder if my mom can think this way, then chances are there are many other americans who think this way too. And if I ever did start working I definately can't tell anyone what I really think because it'll mean I'd either get fired or no one will want to promote me because I support unpopular views.

Basically the whole conversation depressed me, because I do try to stay optomistic and believe the best about the future of the United States and hoping for a day when everyone will have the same rights and my mom just brings it all crashing down.

I felt like an idealistic fool by the end of the dinner.
amalthia: (Default)
Last night I had one of the worst nightmares ever. Maybe I'm getting too paranoid about the government, or watched too many episodes of X-Files, but the dream I had last night was probably an accumalation of all my fears.

it's hard to describe exact details now that I'm awake, mostly I remember the main events, like going to a concert or some sort of event that drew thousands of people together into one spot and then being attacked by a giant alien jellyfish monster that poisoned everything it touched, infecting people with some sort of virus that ate away at people until they died. After the inital attack, which I was somehow spared being infected because I was with my sister and brothers in some underground tunnel system and the arms of the jellyfish didn't reach that far under ground...we escaped the tunnels and found mass panic and confusion outside. It was raining and people were killing each other to get a taxi cab, and everyone had sores on their faces and people were dropping like flies in the street and the chaos continued to spread. My sister, brothers, and I beat someone up to get a taxi ourselves thinking maybe the rain may carry the posion with it as well. in my dream I knew my mom was also at this event but we couldn't find her and that was scary too because there were so many people dieing.

now this woudl have been bad enough, but the dream continues into the next day and the day after and people are still dieing by the thousands, there are riots and few food stores are still open but when we went i had a bad feeling about the food and just as we were about to buy our groceries and leave, a guy ate a grape and then started to scream as sores spread all over his face and neck. We left the food and ran. this is where I go the idea that the government purposefully contaminated the food and water supplies to kill as many people as possible so the aliens wouldn't kill the rest. (think I got this idea from X-Files)

I woke up soon after this but I remember the fear and panic and chaos in the dreams, as I struggled to stay alive and being terrified of getting infected and dieing like everyone else. I was also worried about my sister and brothers. I didn't want them to die either and already some of my aunts and uncles got infected and had died.

I just hope I don't have another dream like this ever again.
amalthia: (Default)
I'm depressed. there is no way around it. I think i've been in denial about this for weeks now. tonight while walking back to the town library, after checking out more books I'll have no interest in reading, I realized that I'm really lonely and I feel like something is missing in me and I don't know how to find what it is i'm missing.

I can't keep telling myself that I'm sick and that's why I'm feeling bad, this has been something bothering me for over two weeks now. for the last two nights, i sat at my computer and stared at teh screen not knowing what to do with myself. Maybe I have too much time on my hands.

I wonder if I'm wasting my life or missing out on something better but I don't know how to change or what to change. I feel like i'm mentally gutted.

The funny thing is I used to make fun of people who were so depressed they couldn't even get out of bed. I couldn't understand why anyone would get so down they can't even get out of bed and take a shower. (I'm not there yet) But I'm beginning to feel like life is hopeless and joyless.

I'm hoping that by going to the movies tomorrow and seeing a comedy my outlook on life will brighten.

My grandmother told me something over spring break that shocked me. She said I was turning into a bitter old woman at 23. I guess to some extent she is right, I look at people and instead of seeing possible goodness and hope. I see future child abusers, killers, rapists, people set out to hurt others maliciously. I try hard to get rid of these thoughts, but it's getting the point where I don't want to date a guy because i'm afraid if we broke up he'd try killing me. it's happened before, and it'll happen again.

How can I ever fall in love with someone when I'm afraid he'll kill me someday on purpose?

Tonight I saw my future spread out in front of me and it was bleak and lonely, my only comforts books, tv shows, and my family and hopefully some close friends. (is this what life is about for everyone, and I'm just expecting more than what is possible?)

I want to change my life, I want something to happen to change who I am and how I see people. Hopefully for the better. but I realize no one is going to come along and drag me out of my self-exile.

Till I figure out what i'm going to do to try and make myself happier, I'll keep thinkin of the positive things in my life.

Long day

Apr. 1st, 2003 11:59 pm
amalthia: (Default)
Well this is probably going to be a complaint fest entry. My day started off rather bad, how can it not when a telemarketer work me up from a sound sleep? I will never buy anything from Citybank in my life. I think calling before 10 am is inconsiderate, especially to college students.

Grr I probably should invest some money in an answering machine, but I never did like checking my messages.

so I got about 4 hours of sleep last night, entirely my fault, I started reading and the book was just too damn good to put down. :) Telemarketer did not help. So today I've mostly felt really drowsy and I'm already ready for bed. Tomorrow I have a test I haven't studied for because now I'm reading the second book in the Liveship trilogy, I hope i'm able to find the answers to the test questions tomorrow while i'm at work. :)

I haven't answered any of my emails today and I sort of feel guilty about that, but when I get absorbed in a book I really don't want to be online. The only reason i'm writing in my live journal is because I want it to become a habit to put my thoughts down somewhere, so maybe I can reflect on the day.

Reflect on what I don't know. I think I spend most of my time daydreaming and reading books and wishing I had more hours to sleep. not a lot goes on in my head it seems like.

sigh I can tell i'm tired, my thoughts are becoming more negative.

Today I learned, not to talk to people when I'm tired. I already knew that but sometimes I need reminders. :)

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