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I'm all over the place today
Anyway after my rant earlier and getting a few responses I kind of felt mellowed out and I realize something that seems important enough to make a big post in my journal. Sometimes I think I'm upset about one thing but the reality is I'm upset something completely different.
Like the secret santa stuff, I don't think I was upset about websites vs LJ (though it is something I'm a bit worried about) I was upset because someone else was upset over something I considered to be a minor in change in plans and hence NO BIG DEAL. The situation kind of reminded me of this one X-Mas, my dad was just back from Iraq after being gone a year and all of us my sister, me, brothers, my mom, everyone wanted to spend time with him. Well me I wanted to get my dad to the movies to see Return of the King but my sister wanted to go to bed early so she could be up early to make a drive to Laradeo with her b/f/fiancee??? so my parents could meet his parents (2 hour drive). My dad wanted to see the movie and ended up not going because my sister made this big production out of it. It was awful. Not that everyone did what my sister wanted because she could yell the loudest, just the everyone crying and my dad trying to make all of us happy and unable to and my brothers and I giving in because we didn't want to stress our dad out anymore.
Now I know this isn't anywhere near mature but after giving this some thought (all evening) I realized I feel the same way emotionally about the sga_santa thing that I did about that X-Mas. I tried to justify my feelings by writing about some other stuff (that really does upset me) but I realized later that me going on and on about websites and LJ is kind of silly because emotionally I'm afraid the people who are upset about the change in plans for the sga_santa are somehow going to ruin it for everyone else.
The sad part is I really do see their pov and understand and yeah it does suck. I just don't know what to do about it and thank GOD I'm not in charge of it. And the real killer is before tonight I didn't care about the santa thing at all! It's been on my mind because I haven't finished my story but I really didn't care!
I felt very defensive about the situation and earlier I couldn't figure out why this struck me as something I needed to pursue. There are nights I should probably just drink large quantities of alcohol and avoid all deep thought.
After this post I'm going to wash my hands of the whole situation and work on finishing my story in time. Though I will do my best to reply back to any and all responses.
Like the secret santa stuff, I don't think I was upset about websites vs LJ (though it is something I'm a bit worried about) I was upset because someone else was upset over something I considered to be a minor in change in plans and hence NO BIG DEAL. The situation kind of reminded me of this one X-Mas, my dad was just back from Iraq after being gone a year and all of us my sister, me, brothers, my mom, everyone wanted to spend time with him. Well me I wanted to get my dad to the movies to see Return of the King but my sister wanted to go to bed early so she could be up early to make a drive to Laradeo with her b/f/fiancee??? so my parents could meet his parents (2 hour drive). My dad wanted to see the movie and ended up not going because my sister made this big production out of it. It was awful. Not that everyone did what my sister wanted because she could yell the loudest, just the everyone crying and my dad trying to make all of us happy and unable to and my brothers and I giving in because we didn't want to stress our dad out anymore.
Now I know this isn't anywhere near mature but after giving this some thought (all evening) I realized I feel the same way emotionally about the sga_santa thing that I did about that X-Mas. I tried to justify my feelings by writing about some other stuff (that really does upset me) but I realized later that me going on and on about websites and LJ is kind of silly because emotionally I'm afraid the people who are upset about the change in plans for the sga_santa are somehow going to ruin it for everyone else.
The sad part is I really do see their pov and understand and yeah it does suck. I just don't know what to do about it and thank GOD I'm not in charge of it. And the real killer is before tonight I didn't care about the santa thing at all! It's been on my mind because I haven't finished my story but I really didn't care!
I felt very defensive about the situation and earlier I couldn't figure out why this struck me as something I needed to pursue. There are nights I should probably just drink large quantities of alcohol and avoid all deep thought.
After this post I'm going to wash my hands of the whole situation and work on finishing my story in time. Though I will do my best to reply back to any and all responses.