Job hunting related whining (feel free to skip)

[amalthia]

It's a beautiful sunny Saturday morning/afternoon and I'm currently stuck inside working on a resume and cover letter to apply for a job. I still have six months left on the contract which does not help my motivation. I hate applying for jobs. Every place has a different set of rules and instructions and requirements and a lot of it feels like more barriers to finding a job.

I suppose if it were raining and windy it would be less painful. Sigh. I know myself well enough to know that I can't do this type of work after working all day so I need to apply over the weekend.

It's times like this I wish I had a magic wand I could wave that would update my resume and create an awesome sounding cover letter. Or better yet, that all job postings would have the exact same procedures for applying. Though I suppose if I truly had magic I'd skip all the job stuff and just conjure up my own money and not worry about working ever again.

I just wonder how other people manage to be so productive? At that is what is seems like when I read my flist. Or maybe everyone has that moment of "this sucks" and they buckle down and plow through the problem and then eat ice cream as a reward after they've finished an unpleasant/boring task???

Anyways, to make up for this post my plan is to post recs tomorrow. (that may help me feel somewhat productive). I guess summer time is when I'm out and about spending as much time outdoors as possible. I've also been reading a lot of Avengers fan fiction and preparing my computer for a complete reformat. (I've been having serious reboot issues lately and I haven't been able to solve the problem because it takes my computer over an hour to reboot) :(

Comments

[fayance]

****Though I suppose if I truly had magic I'd skip all the job stuff and just conjure up my own money and not worry about working ever again.

I hear you on that one, believe me, sigh...God, I wish I didn't have to work and had enough money not to worry about it all the damned time.

****I just wonder how other people manage to be so productive? As that is what it seems like when I read my flist.

Me, too! I feel sometimes like the biggest loser ever when I read my flist and see how much people love their jobs or are inspired by their work or how much fun they have going to neat places and doing interesting hobbies, etc outside of work. I just feel like some abnormal, reclusive weirdo with absolutely NO social life or skills, sigh; my job pays for crap, but I'm gonna be 50 in 9 days and am having a terrible recurrence of my lifelong anxiety disorder, so right now the very idea of even trying to redo a resume or apply elsewhere for a better and better-paying job makes me break out in a sweat and get heart palpitations, ugh. Currently I'm off work for 7 weeks (unpaid, sigh) for summer break from my part time job teaching prek, and just the idea of having to go back end of July is filling me with dread; yet the thought of going back to full time teaching elsewhere (along with a lot more money) or switching careers entirely makes me so so anxious and depressed I just can't stand it. Staying at my low-paying, no-benefits job is at least something familiar and therefore 'safe,' and I know that's pathetic but I just can't deal with the stress of trying to change gears. I get that at 50 I'm entering this stressful menopause phase and have other health problems as well, and that has an impact on my mental/emotional state as well; but I can't seem to dredge up the ambition, drive, productivity to get anything moving further along or improve my life from a job/financial standpoint. To be honest I HATE working and dealing with my director and difficult parents and some of the more unruly kids; and more and more these days I wish I could just stay home and not be answerable/accountable to anyone; heck, lately I can barely deal with having to handle ANYTHING extraneous to just BREATHING, sigh. Paper work for my daughter's SSI and Medicaid, all her many dr appointments, her health problems and her autism, dealing with intake visits from the programs she's enrolled in and fighting for her not to get dropped from any of them, dealing with such mundane things as an oil change or inspection for my old car, a trip to the supermarket or pharmacy and having to stand in line...ugh, I just HATE all of it. I just want to stay home and be left in peace, be left ALONE, and that is definitely not a mature,responsible, mentally stable way to be at my half-century mark.

So you might be feeling a bit below par sometimes when comparing yourself to others, but believe me, I'm sure compared to ME you're doing great!! So don't be so hard on yourself; you might hate doing resumes but I'm pretty confident you WILL get it done, unlike myself (who has started and abandoned at least 3 resumes in the past year, sigh). And productive? It takes all my energy to teach 4 year olds 5 hours a day then go home and take care of my 24 year old, autistic, handicapped daughter. I see people my age who are still so vital and energetic and who have so many outside interests aside from work and home, and I'm like HOW?! How do they do it, and why can't *I* be that way, sigh?

[amalthia]

I know for myself I find it very difficult to leave what I know for a possible better unknown. I wish there was a better system in place so that you're not alone in being the caretaker of your daughter. I read somewhere that when people reach a certain level of stress it requires a lot more energy to accomplish seemingly simple tasks. It made sense to me because at my most stressed out periods of my life I felt like I was barely able to tread water.

Super big hugs

super late, but...

[talking_sock]

If you want me to cast an eye over your resume, I'm happy to. I'm a job-hunt-expert :-/
For some reason I thought you had a perm job now, not a contract? (I myself prefer contracting cuz I can run away better when it all goes bad.)

Re: super late, but...

[amalthia]

It's not too late. :) What email can I use to send you my resume.