Doing some thinking

[amalthia]

Today I read a very interesting post Fandom and Male Privilege and it made me do some thinking, because for the most part I just accept things the way they are and sure I'm outspoken and don't keep my opinions to myself, but I did get married recently and I did end up taking my husband's last name. Though if I had known at the time how much paperwork was involved with changing your name I would have stuck with my maiden name.

but the point is I do have friends that married and kept their maiden names and I didn't give it a second thought to change my name to my husband's. I just wonder what that says about me? I like to them I'm a feminist, but sometimes I feel like a fake feminist because I just do the things I want to do and I only notice "oppression" when something stands in my way. Like having a "possibly" harder time finding a job because I'm married and don't have kids yet. (really I've heard rumors that some companies don't like to higher women who may have kids) Anyway maybe I'm just using that as an excuse for why I'm having a tougher time finding a job when the reality is there is a good chance my resume really sucks and my college degree is next to worthless.

the thing is I don't think my husband would have minded me keeping my maiden name, I just thought it was kind of romantic to take his last name and a sign of my commitment to him and that because we have the same last names legally, we're really a family. Though I guess that sounds kind of silly saying it like that because I know you can be family even if you don't share the same last name. Basically, I didn't give it any thought until after the fact, so now I feel like I'm contributing to the oppression of women by following the dictates of this male dominated society.

I think I might be overthinking this.

Comments

[inyron.livejournal.com]

Well, see, if a woman wants to be more feminine, stay home, wear more man-pleasing clothing, giggle and talk up a man's ego, ect, it's no skin off my nose. What pisses me off is when 1)women act that way because they feel "it's the only way to snag a man," or 2)women act that way while putting down feminists and progressives. I've seen too many women go all "I would never change my name, I'm not a feminist or anything, ick."

But in the two latter examples, we're talking about our effect on society, or society's effect on us; it goes beyond personal choice to reate an unhealthy or hostile environment.

But simply becoming a housewife? Wearing heels you hate because guys like them? Taking your spouse's last name? Personal choices you should make, because they don't affect anyone but you.

[amalthia]

Yeah I don't get the wearing make-up everyday thing...or the heels. (personally dressing up should only be done on special occasions)

I get frustrated when I see women wearing, well it's hard to call it clothing, because it barely covers anything....but I just feel that it makes it harder for men to take the rest of the women who don't dress like that seriously. I've had guys underestimate me when playing online games because they didn't think a woman could strategize or build ships, or manage their economy well enough to win the game. Of course I used it against them too. but I hate when guys talk down to me just because I have breasts instead of a dick.

As for women that feel they need to go to extremes to "catch" themselves a guy....I kind of feel sorry for them. but I also don't like when they defend that their men should get paid more than women doing the same job. Sometimes I think women are more anti-feminist than men. I saw a special about the Citadel that kind of scared me. It wasn't just the men that wanted to keep women out, it was women too.

[inyron.livejournal.com]

"But why should we change? They're the ones who suck!"

Honestly, I don't even have a problem with the hootchie wear. I know the real-life result can be the loss of respect, but the guy would still be the one in the wrong for that.

Sometimes I think women are more anti-feminist than men.

Oh gosh yes. Some women, who get threatened easily.